We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
