I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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