we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
