hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
