he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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