don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
