Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We had to coat check the pizza.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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