So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
