I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
