yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
