She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
