We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
