lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a hot homeless man
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
