Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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