Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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