I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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