Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
