weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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