Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
