Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
