What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
