Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
