She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
