you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
