I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
