Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
