I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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