I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
