She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
