butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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