I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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