If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
