READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
