it was like his penis was on wheels.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
