I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize