Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Who died my cat blue again?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize