Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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