new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
