Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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