Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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