you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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