dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
