We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
