it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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