Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
