Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize