I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
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