he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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