No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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