dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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