do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
