I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
