We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
