It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
