this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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