just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
