It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
