That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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