There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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